Friend...

"A friend is someone who comes in when the whole world has gone out"

perceptions

"Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning, that without listening, speaking no longer heals, that without distance, closeness cannot cure"

--Henri Nouwen



Situations, of any kind, consist of many emotional roller coasters. Change, perceived as positive or negative, is never easy and often causes hurt feelings, resentment, harsh accusations, and sometimes relationship demise. Every human being is capable of perceiving the rights and wrongs of a situation. Often, the targeted person is aware of the rights and wrongs as well. Many times, perceptions can be harmful to the conflict at hand. Life experiences mold who we become and not everyone can put their mind around that. It is a huge part of how we change. If you don't understand and feel those experiences in your heart, your perceptions are only that...your perceptions. Many mistakes happen in the process of change. Mistakes and wrong-doings help us to grow even further in the truth. We have to forgive each other's mistakes, accept that we are, indeed, all human beings capable of making mistakes, we have to own the fact that my mistakes are no greater or lesser than yours. We have to unconditionallly love our own no matter what the extent of the mistake. We have to support change, based on the decisions of those intimately involved, without passing judgement based on our own perceptions. We cannot say that we support and love those involved, and then gossip, ridicule, and manipulate the situation at hand. Our actions have to confirm that unconditional love. Unfortunately, when perceptions and judgements take over some situations and overwhelm those involved, time and distance are the only options we have. When you feel as if you are flying solo, you learn to rely on those who say, "this is what I have experienced in my life", not "These are the facts...these are your choices...this is the right answer".

Giving

So, we finalized a lesson we've been working on for a long time. For the past month or so, I've been trying to explain and show the kids about giving. It's hard for kids to not expect something in return when giving something to someone. I kept saying, once you have the feeling after giving someone something, that feeling of peace that goes straight through your heart...then you will know about giving. I also tried to explain about giving with the right motives...not for fame, not for something in return, not to "look good" in society. Well, today, we made home made chicken noodle soup. Tonight, I let the kids walk to the neighbors house (we know them...they walked in the yard, I watched...not dangerous in any way, shape, or form) and give them some warm soup. I listened as the kids explained that we were giving them the soup. They lit up like little angels. Keith (the neighbor) was so delighted to receive the soup and he made it known to the kids how special it was for them to bring it. They just won't stop talking about how good that felt. Finally, they had their "aha" moment with giving. Mission accomplished. Thanks Keith...

Tonight...

Settling in for the night...Tyler just went night night...he is so sweet. I tell him it's time for bed, so he goes to get his paci off the counter in the kitchen (he knows that is where it stays except for bedtime), and toddles into his room where he walks up to his bed. I give him lotsa love and kisses and put him in. That's it. Wonderful.
Jake and Ava are having their usual argument about who gets to pick the bedtime TV show (they get one). Actually tonight, they agreed on the same show. They are laying together enjoying each other's company.
We had a good afternoon/evening. After an early dinner, we went to gym and kids did wonderful. Jacob was good in his class. He had a familiar friend in his class tonight...Welcome to Tumbling Express Lillie and Karson!! Jake's class is more focused on discipline than gymnastics. Ava started working on her back handspring. She actually does it with a spot. She has progressed immensely in the last 2 weeks. So proud of her. She is starting to really take pride in her abilities at gym. She practices all the time at home. I would never push her to be on the team, etc. I don't think it's good parenting to "push" any activity unless the child shows a genuine passion for it themselves. Gym has always been for fun and exercise. I want her to do good, but you know...if she has a little fun in class, so be it. I just feel they need to find their own passion in life. They don't need it decided by their parent who wants it worse than they do. Anyway, she is starting to show this passion and I'm letting her think about being on the team...it's a lot of time, but if she truly loves it, I will think about it.
Snow day tomorrow probably. Planning to stay home with kiddos all day. Planning to make home made chicken noodle soup (kids' request) and maybe watch a movie?? Need to do some cleaning and laundry too. The rest of the week is full for me. Have a couple meetings (one of my favorite meetings is tomorrow, but probably won't get to go if kids home from school) to go to, have a couple interviews, etc.

Only with pain can growth occur...

This is Jacob and my nephew Caleb (Jasen's oldest). Christmas this year was bittersweet. My grandma passed away on Christmas day, which was heart breaking. However, my brother and his family came home for the services, so we got to spend a few days with them which was unexpected. Didn't get to spend much alone time with them, but did manage to get some good advice from Lyn in the van:)

Today is Wednesday...gonna be a busy day here. Got up at 6 and started the school ritual...got everyone packed, and on the way. Picked up Jake Miller today for preschool...Jake Truelove was so excited. I think we'll make our weekly trip to McDonalds for lunch, then back home to finish up rice krispie treats, get baths, supper, and to Jake's preschool program tonight. Can't forget to go pick up Ava from school in the midst of all the other craziness...that just makes her day when mommy shows up at school:)
I had friend point something out to me...In all my life, when things are bad or emotions are running high, most people find it easier to dwell on the negative outcomes of the situation. No one is strong enough or courageous enough to wait for the good things to arise. I've decided that I am going to start focusing on the good sides of situations...not what they are or have been, but how can I help to make a positive outcome? Not necessarily the outcome everyone tells you is best, but what you feel in your heart and soul is right, then, live for the positives. In the worst situation, something good is waiting on the horizon. Everything happens for a reason and everyone comes into your life for a reason. I trust in that reason and make a conscious choice to make the best of the situations that I can. Negativity and condescendment tear people down and I don't want to be liable for doing that to another human being. If I feel like the choices being made are right or wrong, that is my opinion. Who am I to tell someone that what they are doing is going to be detrimental...I have not lived their life and they have not lived mine. I do not know the situation. I do not feel their heartache and misery. I do not know what risks there are for staying in their situation. GUESS WHAT? I have no right to tell anyone what they should or should not do in their life. My opinion is my opinion. I keep it to myself and pray for growth because only with pain can growth occur.

Warped mind????

Went to a meeting today with a dear friend...love ya CR...every meeting I go to is meant directly for me. For instance, today, 6 out of about 15 people said something about living life on life's terms...wow...I just named my blog that! My friends and I decided we must really be warped because we have so much fun at these meetings. These are people I would have never thought I would be close to. They are really becoming my new best friends...and I love it. I always leave my meetings with a huge smile and a soft heart. I have a whole new compassion for people, no matter where they are or where they've been. I've learned to love people for who they are. We all are human and all make mistakes...some bigger than others...but really its all the same to me. I love to listen to these friends talk because it is real. Only if you are an active part of this group would you ever understand...so I'll stop.

We are at home tonight...me and the kids...Right now, Jake is in his jammies playing boxing on the wii. He usually plays against the computer people, but tonight he decided to put Ava in as player 2 so her character would just stand there and he could beat her down without a fight...haha...
Tyler just got out of his bath and is still running naked...love it!! He is on the ottoman dancing...probably about ready to fall off...probably should quit blogging and catch him:)
Ava is in her jammies (my favorite ones) jumping around the living room, throwing orders at her younger brothers.
Got some yummy popcorn today in Vincennes...new place...cannot remember the name...my friend CR took me there... we got cajun flavor, fruit flavor, and cookies n cream flavor...cannot wait for snack time...
Well, that's all for now.

Quotation...

"Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes"

Unknown