finding my own way

It has been a rough season for this girl. The last several years of my life have been quite trying, to say the least. I was in a dark, dark place but have found a way out. Today I am grateful. I am grateful for life. I am grateful for all the wrongs I did. I am grateful for getting caught. I am grateful for my new support system and new friends I have made on my journey. I am grateful for old friends who are supporting me. I have learned a lot. I have learned who I can and cannot trust. I have learned who my true friends are...these are the people who are not judging me...they support my efforts...they do not try to push or impose their own thoughts/beliefs/opinions on me. They are open minded and listen to me without giving me self-absorbed advice. They are not worried about how they feel or how hurt they are...they are genuinely concerned about my successes. I have also learned who are not such great friends. I have been judged, belittled, and put down. I have been told what a horrible parent I am. Anyway, through it all I have also learned how to forgive others and forgive myself. I have learned how to talk from my heart and not just say what others want to hear. I have learned that I have some big decisions to make and most of them I'm making on my own. I have a clear mind, I have new found courage and strength. I rely on my support system, my faith, my relationship with God, and myself. Sometimes in life we have to go out on a limb...sometimes by ourself...to do what we know is right and healthy. All my life I have been pleasing other people, doing what everyone else told me was right, at any cost to myself and/or my family. Now, I am taking care of me and my kiddos. We are who counts. I am grateful...Today I can honestly say that I am ok.