perceptions

"Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning, that without listening, speaking no longer heals, that without distance, closeness cannot cure"

--Henri Nouwen



Situations, of any kind, consist of many emotional roller coasters. Change, perceived as positive or negative, is never easy and often causes hurt feelings, resentment, harsh accusations, and sometimes relationship demise. Every human being is capable of perceiving the rights and wrongs of a situation. Often, the targeted person is aware of the rights and wrongs as well. Many times, perceptions can be harmful to the conflict at hand. Life experiences mold who we become and not everyone can put their mind around that. It is a huge part of how we change. If you don't understand and feel those experiences in your heart, your perceptions are only that...your perceptions. Many mistakes happen in the process of change. Mistakes and wrong-doings help us to grow even further in the truth. We have to forgive each other's mistakes, accept that we are, indeed, all human beings capable of making mistakes, we have to own the fact that my mistakes are no greater or lesser than yours. We have to unconditionallly love our own no matter what the extent of the mistake. We have to support change, based on the decisions of those intimately involved, without passing judgement based on our own perceptions. We cannot say that we support and love those involved, and then gossip, ridicule, and manipulate the situation at hand. Our actions have to confirm that unconditional love. Unfortunately, when perceptions and judgements take over some situations and overwhelm those involved, time and distance are the only options we have. When you feel as if you are flying solo, you learn to rely on those who say, "this is what I have experienced in my life", not "These are the facts...these are your choices...this is the right answer".